Climb that mountain! How to conquer your To Be Read pile in 5 easy steps

Step 1: Place all your TBR books in the same location, preferably in wobbly bookcases where the threat of collapse and eventual smothering looms over you each day.

Step 2: Having so many unread books in one place is scary! It’s better to deny, deny, deny. Ignore your TBR pile and go to the library. Check out a million books. Lug them all home in the heat and dust and BUGS flying in your FACE. Put them in neat stacks surrounding your bed, so you can trip over them whenever you try to actually use your sleeping area.

Step 3: Feel guilty to having so many new books when all these old books are still unread. Books that you SPENT MONEY ON. Oh, the guilt. Decide to ignore new library books in favor of old TBR books. Read. Feel accomplished.

Step 4: Refuse to a) read library books or b) lug library books back to library. TBR books have priority, but those mofos took a lot of work to bring home! Leave library books in their stacks around your bed, where you can see them, because it just wouldn’t do to lose a few in the living room somewhere (probably under the couch cushions) WOULD IT. Keep reading TBR books. Lament not being able to read library books, even though they’re RIGHT THERE. RIGHT. THERE.

Step 5: Keep renewing library books until there’s no more renewals left, then drag them all back to the library. Feel sad for not having read library books even though you dragged them around with you and took care of them for weeks. Decide to replace them with other library books. Repeat steps 2-4.

Follow these steps and soon your TBR pile will be down to 0! So far I am ON TRACK.

16 thoughts on “Climb that mountain! How to conquer your To Be Read pile in 5 easy steps”

  1. Thank you so much for this program of self-improvement. I am prepared to follow it my own self when I get back home to where all my books are, and I am confident that it will work perfectly.

  2. Oh, I have an additional step or two:

    – Get an ereader
    – Start buying ebooks
    – Gloat because no one can see the files stacking up now

    1. I have one better:
      1. Buy an ereader.
      2. Download a ton of (legal) freebies and maybe splurge on a couple of books. Quickly accumulate more electronic books than ones you have in paper.
      3. Stick the ereader under your bed and forget all about it for six months. Don’t read anything on it. Ignore the growing collection of unread ebooks– they’re not “real,” so they don’t count as TBR books! Right? Right.

  3. Great post! I’ve been going through the steps over and over again all year! I’m thinking about just giving away a large stack of my TBR pile so I won’t feel so guilty.

  4. Oh! Oh! I know this system! I’ve managed to cut out the Library Books step for the time being, so now I just stare overwhelmed at the pile of books on my wobbly bookcase. If I stare at the spines long enough, it’s like I read them, right?

  5. This is hilarious and almost exactly what I do! (Except I generally don’t lug the library books back to the library on time, so I wind up having to pay money for books I may or may not have read…)

  6. Hey would you mind stating which blog platform you’re using? I’m looking to start my own blog soon but I’m having a hard time making a decision between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal. The reason I ask is because your design and style seems different then most blogs and I’m looking for something unique. P.S Apologies for being off-topic but I had to ask!

    1. I’m using WordPress at the moment, with Atahualpa as my layout. Atahualpa is really nice because you can basically completely design your own layout without having to know a lot about CSS/HTML/etc. 😀

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