Step 1: Place all your TBR books in the same location, preferably in wobbly bookcases where the threat of collapse and eventual smothering looms over you each day.
Step 2: Having so many unread books in one place is scary! It’s better to deny, deny, deny. Ignore your TBR pile and go to the library. Check out a million books. Lug them all home in the heat and dust and BUGS flying in your FACE. Put them in neat stacks surrounding your bed, so you can trip over them whenever you try to actually use your sleeping area.
Step 3: Feel guilty to having so many new books when all these old books are still unread. Books that you SPENT MONEY ON. Oh, the guilt. Decide to ignore new library books in favor of old TBR books. Read. Feel accomplished.
Step 4: Refuse to a) read library books or b) lug library books back to library. TBR books have priority, but those mofos took a lot of work to bring home! Leave library books in their stacks around your bed, where you can see them, because it just wouldn’t do to lose a few in the living room somewhere (probably under the couch cushions) WOULD IT. Keep reading TBR books. Lament not being able to read library books, even though they’re RIGHT THERE. RIGHT. THERE.
Step 5: Keep renewing library books until there’s no more renewals left, then drag them all back to the library. Feel sad for not having read library books even though you dragged them around with you and took care of them for weeks. Decide to replace them with other library books. Repeat steps 2-4.
Follow these steps and soon your TBR pile will be down to 0! So far I am ON TRACK.