I don’t know if it’s just because I’m super stressed about moving, or if I’ve actually gone off book blogging, but lately I’ve been wishing I didn’t have a book blog at all. It feels like it’s an obligation, like I’ve trapped myself into this thing that I don’t want to do but I have to keep doing it because otherwise I’ll be a failure. It’s like I have to read so many books a week, and I have to review them all, and I have to network/comment on other blogs/go to book events/etc. to make the expense and the time I’ve put into my blog worth it. I can’t even properly go on hiatus because then every day I DON’T blog I’ll be wasting the money spent to host this thing in the first place.
Which is kind of a ridiculous thing to think! And I’m sure that as soon as we’ve actually made the move and that stress is gone, I’ll be fine and loving my blog again and I’ll want to read a million books and review them all. But right now I feel terrible.
It’s kind of unfortunate that the books I use to de-stress myself are packed up into the thing that’s causing me stress! I could really use a Diana Wynne Jones book right about now, or a Noel Streatfeild or even an Arturo Perez-Reverte. I DO have The Secret Garden on my Kindle, though, so maybe that’ll do.
I actually started reading Anna and the French Kiss because I thought that something light-hearted and kind of silly would cheer me up. And it worked! At least, it worked for the time that I was engaged in reading it. It’s when I put it down that I started getting stressed out again.
Whatever I’m feeling now, I do think that since I’ll be in a new state (physically and spiritually), surrounded by new things and hopefully having new experiences, I might not be blogging (or reading) as much as I did in 2011. For one thing, I’m hoping that a good chunk of my time will be taking up by a job, sight-seeing, and doing fun things like yoga (maybe?). For another thing, I want to get myself out of the rut I’m in, and that means doing more than sitting on my bed blogging all day. I’ve got a plan to force myself to be outside more, doing interesting things, and I’m not entirely sure how that plan will affect my reading/blogging. I’m guessing I’ll read (and thus blog) less, but…every time I say I’ll be blogging less I end up blogging more, so I don’t know what’s going to happen.
What I may do, in order to take lessen the “this is an obligation” feeling, is less formal reviews and more informal discussion posts…not sure yet. I may also blog more about non-book things (although my blog’s name is Birdbrain(ed) Book Blog soooo. Ugh, decisions. I don’t want to make any right now).
Do you ever feel like you’ve trapped yourself into doing something you don’t want to do? What do you do about it?
Anyway, now that I’m less than a week away from actually moving, and now that we’ve got furniture removal/guys who’ll load our boxes/etc. set up, I’m feeling less stressed out. Nearly all my things are packed, so now all I have to deal with is cleaning. Yay!
Also, I’m sorry if I get a bit behind on comments/visiting y’all/etc. I’ll get caught up in the new year!
Weekly Book Stats
Books read in the past two weeks:
167. Those Who Hunt the Night – Barbara Hambly [rating: 4] e
168. Anna and the French Kiss – Stephanie Perkins [rating: 4.5] e
Books reviewed in the past two weeks:
159. Dust and Shadow – Lyndsay Faye [rating: 4] e
160. Miranda’s Big Mistake – Jill Mansell [rating: 3] e
161. A Map of Home – Randa Jarrar [rating: 3.5] e
162. Weetzie Bat – Francesca Lia Block [rating: 1.5] e
163. Hunted – Cheryl Rainfield [rating: 3] e
164. Pastworld – Ian Beck [rating: 2] e
Books acquired in the past two weeks:
I’ve downloaded about 50 ebooks (and an audiobook)– all but one was free– and I don’t entirely feel like listing them all. 😛 Here are some of the ones I’m most excited about, though:
- The Cloud Roads by Martha Well (still free, btw!).
- Your Planet or Mine by Susan Grant (free w/a code at a different store).
- Jessica’s Guide to Dating on the Dark Side by Beth Fantaskey (still free!).
- Graceling by Kristin Cashore (was $0.99 when I bought it w/an Amazon gift card).
I’m planning on doing a wrap-up post on all the freebies and ebook deals I got over the year, if anyone’s interested. 😀
I’ve got a paper book I’m reading! Yay! It’s Making a Living Without a Job by Barbara J. Winter. My mom gave it to me, actually. It’s nearly 20 years old so some stuff is out of date, but the second chapter (which I’m still reading) is all about raising your self-esteem and that pretty much works for whatever decade you’re in.
There IS a new revised version from 2009, though, if you’d rather check that out. It’s actually got stuff about the internet in it! Woohoo.