Blogger jealousy: how to deal with it and move past it

Try not to be jealous.
Or, since that’s basically impossible, try to channel your jealousy (or envy1) into something more positive.

As a book blogger, you’ll probably run into situations where someone’s got something you want. Either they get more books from publishers (or just “better” ones), or they get more hits on their blog, or they have more comments on their posts, or they have more Twitter friends, etc.– they’ve got SOMETHING that you, at the moment, do not. And maybe you won’t ever get that thing they have, and maybe that depresses you. Maybe you start feeling a bit pissed off2 and maybe you start feeling like you should just quite blogging because if people like THAT can succeed3 then what’s the point of you blogging?

That, my friends, is jealousy. And also foolishness, because blogging isn’t a popularity contest, no matter what anyone else says. The important thing about blogging isn’t how much free stuff you get, or how much recognition, or that you’ve got more followers than someone else.4 The important thing is that you are putting something out into the world that is creative, positive, and interesting. Focus on what YOU’RE doing, not what someone else is doing.5

So what I advise you to do the next time you feel jealous of someone is:
1. Acknowledge that you’re feeling jealous. Figure out what exactly you’re jealous about, why, and how that makes you feel.

Example: that blogger got an ARC I wanted. I didn’t get the ARC. This makes me feel less important than that other blogger.

2. How can you fix whatever it is you’re upset about? Write down a plan of action.

Example: I want to feel important. So I’ll host an event for the release of the book! Ask for an interview with the author! etc.

3. Put that plan of action into motion. Acknowledge that you’ve (hopefully) moved on from your original negative emotions.

The idea is to take that lump of coal that is jealousy and turn it into a diamond. If you can channel the negative energy you got from feeling jealous of someone into POSITIVE energy that’ll benefit you/your readers/etc., you won’t end up wallowing in a cesspit of self-pity. Yay!

How do you turn jealousy into something positive?

For more blogging tips, check out the Tips page!

Image is “Jealousy With Toys by Kairi Danjo Sanjo,” apparently.

  1. technically I think all this refers to “envy,” but pop culture mixes the two anyway so whatever, it’s fine. Y’all know what I mean when I say “don’t be hatin’.”
  2. why do THEY get that thing when they don’t work as hard as you/all their posts are giveaways/they’re not a nice person IRL/etc.?!
  3. and succeed so easily!
  4. although those things are, of course, very nice
  5. Unless you’re looking for inspiration, of course, which is a whole other topic and has nothing to do with hating yourself.

5 thoughts on “Blogger jealousy: how to deal with it and move past it”

  1. The ‘more hits, more comments, more followers’ stuff is what gets me. Mostly, I just need to tune it out and focus on my own thing and be grateful for what I do have. But it also challenges me to spend more time on my blog and on commenting on other blogs. Because, the way I see it, I can’t really mope about not having many comments if I’m not getting out there and visiting other blogs. Basically, I try to channel my blogger envy into sharing the blogging love 🙂

    1. Comments are what trip me up! I really want to comment more on other blogs, but what Internet time I have is sucked up by me trying to get my own blog posts up. 🙁

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.